Image by finsmal…Altered Consciousness via Flickr“The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear – fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.” ~Henry Louis Mencken
When I made the leap of faith to pursue professional coaching, it was out of deep self-exploration that I discovered clarity. My new chosen career path forced me out of my comfort zone, into a world of study and much personal growth. I had to get past my lack of self-confidence and fear of change to truly feel comfortable, equipped, and ready to move forward. I had to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. This was a major lesson in my growth process.
What I wasn’t expecting was other people’s fear of change and their insecurity in regards to me becoming a life coach. People are most comfortable when they know what to expect and what roles to play. Oftentimes, when you must become comfortable and confident with your goals and new direction, well-meaning people will often get very insecure about your new path.
I often tell my clients to have a core group of supportive people in their lives. When nurturing a new goal that is dear to their heart, I advise them to only share the goal with their support team in the beginning. The reason being, you trust and value your support team’s feedback and criticism. It is often a good thing when they punch holes in your dream because it shows where you need to get more clear in your action steps and where your goal may be lacking. I often advise my clients to not hold much value in criticism and feedback from those outside of their support team because often they do not have your best interests at heart. They are not trying to help you grow or become a better person. These people I call Dream Stealers. Most times, they are not aware that they are harming you. They only want to maintain their current comfort zone, because it allows them to know what to expect.
It is often when you are most confident and comfortable in your new direction that people who are not in your support team become fearful in your change. They wonder how your goal will affect them. They wonder if your new role will change theirs. Often their fear of change comes from a lack of knowledge or lack of strength to ask you how it will affect them. They are insecure with how your goal will affect your established relationship.
Know that this is where your clarity and vision for your new goal/direction plays a big part in your success. In order to move forward and not get hung up by the person fearing change, you need to know that it is their “stuff.” Do not take their insecurities on as your own. When they are ready, discuss with them honestly and openly about how your new goal will or will not affect them. Know that you had more time to process your new goal than they have. It will take them time to gain comfort and know what to expect.
Ultimately, having a clear vision and well thought-out goal will help you build the strength and self-confidence to protect against Dream Stealers and their well-meaning intentions. This will be one of the first of many steps towards success in reaching your goals.